6 Months

Wow! I have been away from Idaho for 6 months. Here are some of my raw emotions over the last 6 months. It isn't pretty. And while it is still oh so very hard, I am beyond grateful that I did it.

I miss Idaho more than I ever thought I could. I miss the comfort and ease of Idaho. I miss the safety and security. I miss the mountains. I miss my old job. I miss my church. I miss being able to see friends and family whenever I wanted. I miss the quietness. I miss the beautiful sunsets. I miss seeing cows on my way to work. I miss the slower pace of life. I miss the cheaper cost of living. I miss Costa Vida, Dutch Bro's, Idaho Pizza and Flatbread. I miss feeling like I belong. Every ounce of me still wants to go back. I truly want to go back to my life and how it was a year or two ago when living in DC was just a crazy dream.

A few months into living in DC I had a dream where I was at MAF and nobody knew me. I woke up crying. I hate that. I have only woken up crying one other time in my life and that was after I was laid off. It's not a good feeling. Especially when I still feel so tied to MAF and I truly love and miss my friends there.

But then I think. What if I had let fear control me, again, and I stayed in my comfort zone. Would I truly be appreciating Idaho? No. I would be taking it all for granted, feeling like my life was passing me by as I stood still. When/if I come back to Idaho in 18 months I am going to have a new appreciation for it. But I will also be so proud of myself for moving 3000 miles away, for embracing  a new way of everything. For stepping out of my comfort zone to follow a dream.

This is where it gets really confusing. Yes, I miss Idaho with my whole heart. But I love DC with my whole heart. I really do. When I think about DC, I smile. When I talk about DC, I am happy. When I think about DC, it brings a smile to my face. I love this city! I love all the stuff we have done. I love the stuff we have experienced. Walking the National Mall and seeing all the monuments, most people only get to to see a few times in their lives. I have walked the National Mall at least10 times in the last 6 months and each time there is something new I discover. All the Smithsonian's I can visit over and over and I don't have to rush through them, because I can always go back, at anytime. Walking around the city and not having to worry about parking cause I take my beloved metro. There is so much in DC that is free and so much to still discover. So many new things to look forward to, such as cherry blossom season (so excited) and all the free outdoor activities this summer, including July 4th (on the National Mall - it will be amazing!).

So, while I miss Idaho, I found room to love DC, and when I leave, I know I will miss DC as well.

P.S. Since I interrupted this blog catch up phase to mark my 6 months away from Idaho, I should note that I am finally employed full time with benefits and time off! Through a round about way and a little under a 2 week vacation I ended up back at the job I had been temping for since September. I am working in the heart of DC, thus allowing me to still explore the city. As I was deciding whether or not I should go back, a good friend reminded me that I am in DC to experience DC, not climb a corporate ladder. So, I chose the job had a good work life balance.